Darkness within and without me

It was not just dim or even like a completely cloudy and moonless night

For I stayed in a dark that admitted not even the idea of light

Things looked the same with my eyes either open or closed

Turning all the way around and looking up and down, I saw nothing different

How often did I stumble over simple obstacles unseen?

And not a single photon ever fell upon any of my myriad receptors

How easily I might have walked given just a little light

But I could not even know what my eyes were for

I might have begun with an imagining of colors

Though without sight all descriptions were simply meaningless

I arose from the dark and in darkness I remained

And I had no need of longing, for I had never seen

I dreamed in but the singular image of total darkness

No shadows could ever cross over me upon my unseen path

I knew not sunset nor the difference between day and night

Sunlight could not penetrate the depth of my thought

Darkness filled me instantly from everywhere without

And I remained as dark as my absolutely colorless surroundings

It was not just dark - for there simply was no light

The emptiness of not black was the only truth that I knew

I could not miss that thing called light, so far outside my ken

But, I was not blind, for I was always seeing nothing

So, I was blind but could not ever notice

Therefore, the darkness did not bind me in any form of sorrow

For me there were no things better left unseen

I did not strive to make out any shadowy details

I always saw everything there was, all at once

I could not fret over things I never knew that I could hope for

It was not blackness but it was the unified and true darkness

I merged with the no color, as empty as the void that surrounded me

My field of vision was consistent in all directions and both up and down

I lacked for nothing in the completeness of my ignorance

The mindless darkness bound me before I had emerged

I might have learned to visualize my surroundings but the void was silent

In the dark I found I had little understanding of how far that I had traveled

Darkness touched me all over until I took its form from within

When did it really hit you?

when did you realize you knew not where you came from

             and that it made no sense to ask where you might be going

why have the things you once so believed in

faded into some gray background

what year was that when your hands finally dropped,

that thing which then slipped away unseen

what time was it that awful day

when the print just became too small

how was it that occasion you met someone from long ago

and you both saw your aging selves in each others’ faces

where were you hurrying off to just then

when you realized you really had nowhere to go at all

who died you thought seemed quite old

but was just as young as you

why does less snow fall and melt so much more quickly now

than in those colder times that we knew so well

what things unspoken, lines unread and gestures missing remain

to wake you in the night

why then if the sleep that repairs is such a basic need

do you rest so very poorly now

why should your soul persist forever more

if you live but these few blurry, wasted and forgotten years

when did you notice those things that you sought

might be standing squarely in your way

what were you doing when it hit you that

none of this could possibly really matter

how did you react the first time you knew

there were things that you could do no more

what ran through your mind when you first noticed

a task you had always planned but would never do

what happened to the places that you knew so well

which were the background to a life you no longer lead

why do things go by so much faster now

leaving questions that others more quickly answer

why did all the things you knew flow

like water through your grasping hand

where did you first veer from the road

and start stumbling through the weeds

who were those who sold you out

or took you for a fool and won without any consequence

who were the people who passed you by

when you thought you were still going places

how could it be that what is to them irrelevant, ancient history

you witnessed on TV

what was that thing you never saw

until it finally laid you low

Useless To Say

 It is so useless to say anything and simply pointless to argue

your opinion does not matter since no one cares or listens

It is such a waste of time and every path winds up just the same

And everything can be captured in a few shades of gray

It is all very boring and it is all so bloody useless

all your life has been spent simply wasting precious resources

The tasks they spend their time on are irrelevant and stupid

all the really good things are ignored or quickly trampled over

The days are all the same, spent performing pre-programmed actions

and the freedom in your mind acts upon predetermined choices

The days grow ever hotter and the earth is always getting dirtier

but there is precious money to be made and silly management to be done

The times pass by more quickly for everyone, each and every year

except for those who disappear once again into the void

The people grow ever fouler through constant contact with each other

the madness growing ever stronger through collective repetition

There is no rhyme or reason, though many keep on searching

so you blame yourself for your confusion and for being such a dullard

There is no way to fight back and no alternate universe to flee to

but there are many forms of drugs that many people find useful

You are here for the briefest fleeting second and still manage to waste time

so our foolish lessons are not passed on and it all happens once again

We are comic in our self-absorption and silly in our incompetence

and our voices are mere whimpers while our hopes are but pathetic

Our goals in life are fuzzy and our strategies remain undefined

We will wonder why things end as they do, if we get a chance

There is no hope for dreamers nor any dream of hope

but still we fight on against the demon of our despair

Men are simply pigs who soil everything they touch

The future is not brighter, for really, things are not getting better

The odds are overwhelming that our kind vanishes again, into dust and into ashes

Yet, despite and because of it all, that hopeless good fight simply must continue

Some signposts become illegible

some details are better left unseen

some parts should be left unspoken

some pieces of the puzzle are broken

some lines of the riddle seem obscene

some days take more from us than others

some memories we had best not visit

some places should never have existed

some times we have no brothers

some things we see are not glimpsed whole

some acts have no decent frame of reference

some ideas come unbidden

some plans form in the dark

some lives may make sense to others

some people live well without their reason

some flowers remain unopened

some relationships remain unbroken

some clouds bring no soothing rain

some years pass within a deeper blur

some emotions bring us closer

some images burn us within too deeply

some children must be left behind

some lights wink out far below

some thoughts we take in quiet comfort

some days just pass us by too soon

some feelings stay warm within us

some nightmares persist for years

some trees have seen everything we have done

some cities yet remain alive

some books can act like good armor

some friends can see us through

some galaxies move silently toward us

some companions must go off on their own

some loves are meant to last forever

some resources get squandered quickly

some gestures are best left unmade

some nights we rest alone and uneasy

some faces tell a thousand stories

some roads lead just to lonely towns

some stories leave us feeling hungry

some unseen item can seal one's fate

some beginnings arise from fine ash

some hopes are coarsely dashed

some dreams can help sustain us

some seem more alive than others

some fevers bring on guiding visions

some suffering may lead to wisdom

some fish require cold water

some colors clash with the land

some accidents may help us plan

some visions lead to desolation

some paths fade out among dense weeds

some voices calm us with their sound

some winter chill remains deep within us

some waters clearly mesmerize

some signposts become illegible

some silences are blessed indeed

some grace can be austere and cold

some mercy does not last

some women share the secret freely

some rings may never be removed

some work we can leave for tomorrow

some illusions we let take hold firmly

some respects we cannot ever pay

some debts we will always owe

some sighs remain the only tie that binds

some tears leave more than salty traces

some wisdom actively seeks us out

some relaxations just numb our minds

some songs take us far and wee

some jobs reduce our lives

some diseases heal the spirit

some deaths bring only questions

some losses only matter due to our mistakes

some gains we notice through others' views

some leaders are the best that donors can afford to buy

some workers are not so happy with their lot

some families have no generations

some countries have no enduring culture

some small villages may yet sustain us

some paid services are never rendered

some schemes offend our inner core

some jokes die upon the tongue

some greed is considered good and healthy

some longings go unfulfilled by choice

some sons are always called upon to a suffering sacrifice

some of us slowly become aging grandparents

some irony is too subtle to penetrate our grief

some delusions help us to really see

some heroes are better off unmet

some handshakes are soft and moist

some peaks remain far off forever

some animals simply will not hide

some lies may help them to console us

some self-reflection may bring unease

some emptiness may help to restore us

some winds stay dry too long

some whispers set our ears to ringing

some cats can sense our ways

some help comes too late to matter

some mackerel skies can change to rain

some hands could tell us many stories

some doors don't really close

some raindrops strike our faces

some candles go out too soon

some reasons do not satisfy

some tales tell more than themselves

some issues are not ever addressed

some challenges remain unmet

some conflicts are not resolved

some problems cannot be discovered

some bodies are left out uncovered

some wounds will never heal

some things are not cured by time

some groups are not lead by politicians

some whispers bring on cold shivers

some demons will never leave us

some races should not be run

some contests cannot be won

some feelings cannot be replaced

some relations crumble before they fade

some remains cannot be identified

some meals cool and stay unfinished