Could I Really Be As Empty

Could I really be as empty as my daily life would lead me to believe

Could I be such a loser as the man I understand myself to be

Could I waste more resources for less reason than on the mindless habits of my existence

Could I squander time more efficiently than my obvious unconscious plan to throw my life away

Could I possibly awaken less often and still be considered to be alive

Could I perhaps find less self-loathing if I could just escape the past

Could I grow old and be steeped in wisdom if I did not find myself such a fool

Could I find consolation in this fleeting tale by ignoring the beginning and the end

Could I lay me down in hopes of sleep if I cast off this nonsense that pays the monthly bills

Could I still learn that, despite every lesson, it was not really all so tawdry and mundane

Could I salvage some scraps of meaning from these swirls of confusion amid waves of nonsense

Could I summon up all my courage, just to fail once again

Could I lose more than I bet by hoping more than trying

Could I gather all my forces and simply manage not to cry

Could I steal an extra moment through believing in my own lies

Could I really change the outcome instead of being a mere observer

Could I wait another lifetime before I perceive it's far too late

Could I stop fearing others’ motives, if I stopped questioning my own

Could I find some inner value through simply casting off my sense of worth

Could I spot an honest man by a simple comparison with myself

Could I determine truth or lie based upon who I think I am

Could I lose my hostility if I understood this anger

Could I first trust instead of mistrust, as simple as that seems to sound

Could I tell light black from shades of darker gray if I did not listen to this voice inside

Could I escape from this gripping sadness without losing what I think I know

Could I simply join the void again and just say it did not matter that I had made no difference